Walking the Straight and Narrow

There are three particularly prolific strategies to pick from when someone is approaching you from the opposite direction in a narrow passage or hallway (such as at work).

First strategy: set your shoulders and lock yourself into your lane. If they get run over, that’s their problem. You were there first. Probably. This is the second-most aggressive form of walking (the most aggressive I will mention in this post), and can be assumed by pretty much anyone who is bigger or more concrete than the average opponent. It’s occasionally the walk of the daydreamer, too, but daydreamers are generally flattened by streetlamps or cars or somehow-inconspicuous brick walls.

Second strategy: come almost to the point of walking into the other fellow, then stop, swap sides of the road (as does your opponent), swap again (him again as well), and then close your eyes and stand very, very quiet and still and hope above all hopes that he will pass you by. Might not hurt to bring some gold coins to drop when he passes, so that you can hurry away while he’s distracted.

Third strategy: plan ahead. With someone in the lane ahead of you, why not use an altogether different lane? Cross the road? Turn around and go back where you came from? Sure, you weren’t planning to take another road, and who knows – you might even get lost. Couldn’t hurt that much. You’ll probably learn something about another neighborhood at the same time as avoiding running into the fellow. You always wondered what the dark underpass was like anyways.

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